Too Old for Cosmo…

I’m not going to lie – one of my favorite things to do when I find a spare couple of minutes is light a ton of candles, tune into the Enya channel on Pandora, grab a glass of wine and take a looooooong bath. It sooths my soul and grants me enough of a tenuous grip on sanity to make it through the rest of the week. Most of the time, I grab a magazine to flip through while I’m relaxing. A few nights ago, I made the mistake of grabbing a Cosmopolitan.

When I was in my early to mid-twenties, I had a subscription to Cosmo and I read every word of every issue like it was the gospel truth. Yes, I wanted the exact shade of lipstick that would make me virtually irresistible to the opposite sex. Yes, I wanted to know the three-second workout that would instantly tone my butt and legs. Yes, I wanted to read all about other twenty-something’s making it in the post-college world. Sign me up for all of the above!

Now that I’m in my mid-thirties, somehow all of that seems a little less important.

I happened to get a free copy of Cosmo in the mail for doing something completely dorky and middle-aged like filling out an online survey and it arrived in the mail last weekend. I tossed it aside and didn’t pick it up again until the other night. I ripped open the plastic and it was like seeing a good friend again after years. The familiar cover with the risqué words on the front, the big COSMOPOLITAN at the top covered by the head of the model…

Wait a minute.

Does this girl’s mother know she’s posing on the front of this magazine dressed in an outfit like this?

I’ll admit. I had to Google the girl on the front cover. I’d never heard of her. She looked like someone’s little sister.
Oh well, I sighed, turning to the inside pages.

Inside the cover, I was bombarded by so many images and words and unfamiliar headlines that I immediately felt overwhelmed. Did there used to be so many words on a page? Weren’t there more regular articles and fewer pictures back then? And, what’s a hash tag do anyway?

After a few articles about dating apps, embarrassing moments, and what to do when you’re stuck moving back home with your parents after college, I gave up and the Cosmo ended up on the bathroom floor while I sunk down into the tub and felt positively antiquated.

When did I get too old for Cosmo?

I’ve had a lot of experiences since my early twenties. I’ve learned a lot and grown a lot. And, maybe I’m too old for Cosmo, but I’m still going to fight the good fight, because I’m sure I’m still too young for Better Homes and Gardens!


About Adria Waters

I am a mom, wife, teacher, and a writer. Somehow I'm trying to find time for all of those things!
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