Not Enough Self-Affirmations in the World Tonight

“You are a writer.  Repeat after me.  I am a writer.”

“No.”

“You are a writer.  Repeat after me.  I am a writer.”

“Fine.  I am a writer.”

“You are a writer.  Repeat after me.  I am a writer.”

“Ugh.”

 

Twenty minutes ago, I was actually sitting in my bathtub, listening to a writing affirmation mp3.  Some man with a gentle English accent was coaxing me to believe in myself.  

“You can do it!” he coached, above the lilting sounds of a sitar.  All I could think about was a Twinkie. 

I don’t know if it’s the weather, or the slightly lukewarm reception my first chapter got in my critique group, or the GAPING plot hole I discovered that refuses to be filled, or the fact that in the last two months since NaNoWriMo I have done nothing but editing, but I am really down in the dumps about writing.  I have four finished novel-length pieces, but every time I read through one, I find so many things I could change that I wonder if I’ll ever get to the point I would inflict my words on the unsuspecting public.  That said, everything about the publishing process seems daunting and the more I edit, the more self-doubt creeps in.  And, I’m left feeling deflated. 

Deflated enough to try a self-affirmation tonight, for Pete’s sake!

So, where do I go from here?  The logical first step seems to be to start writing again.  Get back to enjoying the creativity rather than dwelling on what’s wrong with what I’ve written.  I am going to have to find a balance between writing and editing and navigating the treacherous shark-infested swirling waters of self-publishing (how’s that for dramatic?). 

I need to get back to writing each and every day.  Because, as that nice English gentleman said:

“I am a writer.”  

 

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About Adria Waters

I am a mom, wife, teacher, and a writer. Somehow I'm trying to find time for all of those things!
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3 Responses to Not Enough Self-Affirmations in the World Tonight

  1. Hadena James says:

    You are a writer! It was not LUKEWARM. And it could be the weather, I hate trying to be creative when there are several inches of snow piled into tall mountains that dot the landscape and remind me of winter wastelands, darkened by cinders and cleaning materials.

    As for the 4 completed pieces… It is hard to “complete” a novel, there is always something you can do to make it better, at least in your mind. You just have to allow yourself to be DONE with it. Give one to someone else to read and get their opinion on whether it is done or not… Never trust yourself on when a novel is completed.

    Pep talk complete. Remember, YOU ARE A WRITER!

    • Adria Waters says:

      Okay – but only if you said it in an English accent 🙂

      Lukewarm may not have been an accurate description – I just felt like the things that were pointed out were things I should have caught before sending it out to be reviewed. Just a couple head-smack worthy things I should have noticed.

      Thank you for the pep talk – I’m very glad to know you! And I promise I’ll be back to my perky self once all of this blasted snow melts! 🙂

  2. rosylinn says:

    Wow, we have crammed in so much editing in the past two months. Started doing #insanonano on Twitter. I sat down to write something new this morning and couldn’t get out too words. Instead, went back to editing.

    Maybe we should ditch the editing this Friday and just write! Okay, maybe work on the plot hole, but mostly write. Flash fiction? Short story?

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